Whispering Hills of Love (American Wilderness Series Romance Book 3) Page 4

  As they rode, William’s heart raced with excitement. He didn’t know if chasing Kelly up the hill or arriving at his new home for the first time caused the thrill he felt. Either way, it felt good.

  They tied Smoke and Ginger and dismounted, taking in the building and surrounding area.

  The one and a half story cabin was larger than William expected. Logs ten to fifteen feet long, some of them split, formed the outside walls. William could see small portals for guns on both sides of the front. He peered around a corner and noticed a porthole on the side as well. The roof was composed of shingles nicely laid on. Tall Sycamores on either side shaded the cabin from the sun. Scanning the area in front of the cabin, he could see a fresh water spring at the bottom of the rise. “It’s much nicer than I had imagined,” William said.

  “It’s grand. Look, there’s an apple orchard,” Kelly said, pointing to a stand of trees laden with apples nearby. “And there’s a smokehouse. We had one at my old cabin until it burned down.”

  “Shall we take a looksee inside?”

  Kelly nodded and he opened the heavy door for her. As she passed, William caught a whiff of her scent. He closed his eyes for a second, breathing in the delicious fragrance. She smelled like vanilla. And maybe roses? He couldn’t be sure, but the delicate scent made his mouth water and his pulse quicken.

  The door was made of broad, heavy, roughly dressed timber puncheons, with one face finished flat and pinned with a two inch pins. The back of the door held a strong bar, so that it could not easily be forced open.

  The logs inside the house were hewn down inside and appeared to be tight to the weather. William was surprised to find that it had a planed oak floor. “Colonel Boone clearly had help building a home this snug and some of the men possessed excellent carpentry skills. And that’s a well-made stone chimney too, no doubt built by a mason.”

  “It is a fine home,” Kelly agreed.

  “I can’t believe my good fortune. I think I’m going to be very happy here.” He wanted to say we, instead of I, and that surprised him.

  “I do hope you are, William.”

  He stared into her soft violet eyes, framed by long straight strands of blonde locks. The ride here made wisps of hair encircle her head like a golden mist. She appeared more waiflike than ever before.

  How he wanted to reach out to her, to kiss her tempting mouth. To show her what a kiss should feel like—tender and meaningful. But if he did, would he frighten her? Maybe for good. Considering what she’d been through, and her current nervousness, it was a real possibility.

  He couldn’t risk it—not yet.

  Kelly rambled around the inside of the cabin picking things up and then setting them down again. She wanted to memorize the cabin’s interior so she could clearly picture William in it later. She knew she would lay awake at night imagining him in his new home.

  The first thing she noticed was the quilt covered wooden bed. The short bed posters were plain and their dark stain stood out against the dusty wooden floor. At least the flooring wasn’t made of packed dirt, as so many were in Boonesborough. A couple of wooden buckets hung to the left of the door and an assortment of pans hung on the wall. A cobweb-covered butter churn hid in the corner along with a rolling pin for pie crust. Both looked like they had gone unused for some time. Two pewter candle holders sat on the hearth’s mantle, which was made of a large thick slice of cedar. A good-size wood plank table accompanied by three chairs occupied the center of the large room and another oblong table, with several bowls of different sizes, stood against the wall. Narrow wooden stairs led to what must be a small room for sleeping upstairs.

  Yes, William would be happy here. But would he want a wife to join him? Surely, he would. Someone more beautiful than her. She was just as plain as her plain life. He would also need a wife with enough genteel breeding to be an asset to his career. After he became a lawyer, he would eventually become a judge or maybe serve as a legislator in the General Assembly in Frankfort. With William’s looks and genial personality, he could have his choice of any of the unwed ladies of Boonesborough. Or all of Kentucky for that matter. Maybe even one of Boone’s daughters.

  She peered up at him. His eyes instantly locked on hers. They were kind, probing eyes that saw right into her soul. But this time, there was something more there. Something she had not seen before. His eyes seemed to reveal a deeper part of him. Or was he seeing a deeper part of her?

  “Kelly,” he started and took a step toward her.

  She quickly glanced away, her chest tightening with both longing and unease. How could she want to be near him and yet not want to be at the same time? She put a knuckle in her mouth and before she could stop herself, started chewing on it. “I must be hungry,” she said to cover herself. “Perhaps it’s time to eat the food we brought. I’ll need to get back soon, before I’m missed.”

  William inhaled a breath and then let it out slowly. He hated the idea of taking her back and longed to spend more time alone with her here, but she was right. If they were gone too long, especially after dark, it might harm her reputation. “Yes, I suppose you‘re right. It will be getting dark soon and I want to get you safely back before the sun fully sets. And I promised Sam and Bear that I would meet them back at my camp. I guess this will be my last night there.”

  “Your family experienced tragedy while all of us camped there, but we also enjoyed some good times too. Especially Sam and Catherine’s wedding. That was the happiest day.” Her eyes were misty and wistful.

  “That was a night to remember,” he agreed, choosing to focus on the joyful event instead of the tragic. “They made a handsome couple. I’m sure those two enjoyed an entertaining and enjoyable honeymoon.” He jauntily cocked his head to one side, grinning a bit wickedly at her.

  Kelly quickly bent her head and grew quiet. She studied her hands and then ran her fingers across her wrists.

  William remembered how her struggles against the ropes, binding her to her bed as she was raped, tore the skin from her thin wrists, leaving them with bleeding deep scrapes. The sight had sickened him.

  Something clicked in his mind. That’s why she’s rubbing her wrists. The thought barely passed through his mind before another followed. Equally disturbing. He couldn’t deny the evidence any longer. Time was not easing the pain of her ordeal. It was making it worse. Her misery was growing so acute it had become physical.

  He watched, feeling helpless, as she swallowed what must be despair and sat down, her shoulders slumped forward. Torment was eating at her from the inside.

  His heart broke for her.

  How desperately he wanted to reach out to her, hold her close, and let her cling to him. But he couldn’t risk scaring her away. He wanted to help. But he also knew that first she had to help herself. She needed to figure out for herself what was happening to her. How could he make her see that without scaring her further?

  “Kelly, I have an idea. Why don’t we both agree to something? Let’s make this first visit to my cabin special. This will be where and when your healing begins,” William said softly. “I know the trauma you suffered is beyond my understanding, and that you are still distressed. But I also know I can help you help yourself heal.”

  “Heal?”

  “When people are hurt, whether it be of the body or the mind, their pain has to heal. Even Sam, as strong as he is, had to heal from the terrible things he experienced during the Revolution. I believe there are two kinds of pain—the kind that makes you stronger and the kind that makes you weaker. You’ve carried pain around inside of you ever since your attack. And with each day, the weight of that pain is getting heavier, gradually making you weaker. You can’t let what happened define who you are.”

  “I have,” she admitted.

  “When something bad happens to us, we have two choices. We can let it break us. Or we can let it strengthen us. I truly believe you can get stronger—by letting go of that burden. Inside you is an exceedingly strong woman. I know it. I saw
it on your face and in your eyes the day of your attack.”

  “If that’s true, why am I getting worse with each day instead of better.”

  “You will have to really think about exactly what’s causing you to feel so anxious now. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself. Can you do that? Will you let me help you?”

  Her chin quivered as the tiniest squeak came out as, “Yes.” She covered her face with shaking hands and finally gave vent to her agony. To her loss. To the loss of innocence. Deep honest sobs came up from the depths of her heart, and she wept aloud, for the first time that he knew of, letting her shame come out in tears.

  William sat down at the table too and reached across it leaving his hand close to her.

  She glanced up, tears glistening on the flawless skin of her face. He could see her mind weighing whether to trust him with just that much of a touch.

  She closed her eyes and nearly flung her hand toward him, like a drowning person seizing the hand of a rescuer. William just held her hand and let her cry for several minutes. He knew each tear shed cast off some of the terrible weight she carried.

  When her sobs seemed to subside, he squeezed her hand gently and stroked the top of it with his thumb. Anguish burnt his own heart with each stroke. He had broken through her fragile defense and she had let some of her pain out. It was a beginning.

  The beginning of healing, he prayed.

  Kelly scrubbed the moisture off her face with her fingers. He watched as she got up, grabbed the bundle containing their food, and walked to the door of the cabin, their meal forgotten.

  He stood and followed her.

  She placed her hand on the door, turned slowly, and looked back over her shoulder glancing around the large cozy room.

  William couldn’t take his eyes off her.

  Then she looked up at his face and smiled tentatively.

  When he flashed a wide smile back, she didn’t look away. Instead, she smiled back at him in earnest, her beautiful face and dazzling eyes now more alive with what looked like hope.

  Good. Hope is stronger than fear.

  CHAPTER 5

  “Are you sure you’ll be all right?” William asked, as he unsaddled her mare, in the dim light of the setting sun.

  Kelly could hear true concern in his voice. She shook her head yes, but said nothing. Shedding all those tears back at the cabin made her feel better but she still couldn’t find the courage to talk about any of it. William must have sensed that on the ride back because he remained quiet, leaving her to sort out her feelings.

  “Just remember what we agreed. Okay? Life is a precious gift. You were given the gift of life because you are strong enough to live it.”

  Kelly let his words sink in while William plopped the saddle down on the fence and grabbed a handful of straw to wipe the sweat from Ginger’s back. Then he let both horses water. Before he finished, he heard the home’s back door open and Mrs. Wolfe emerged with a woman Kelly didn’t recognize, who carried a lantern.

  "Good evening, Mrs. Wolfe. How was your shopping trip?” Kelly asked politely as they walked up. She nodded to the other woman and smiled, glad that in the dim light both women could probably not see her eyes, swollen from crying. “Sheriff Wyllie and I have just returned from viewing the land that Colonel Boone so generously gave him today.”

  “Kelly,” Patricia began without preamble, “we’ve decided to make a change.”

  Kelly thought she could hear the girls crying in the nearby kitchen.

  “A change in what?” Kelly asked. “Are the girls okay?”

  “This is Mrs. Gafford, the girls’ new tutor,” Patricia said.

  Kelly’s brows drew together in confusion. She tried to speak, but couldn’t.

  “I apologize that we couldn’t give you more notice, but Mrs. Gafford is in need of employment without delay.”

  “But what about my employment?” she stammered.

  “My dear, after last night, we just had to make a change. You frightened the girls terribly. They think something is wrong with you.”

  She listened with bewilderment. “But it was just a nightmare, nothing more.”

  “A horrific nightmare. You were thrashing about and screaming. Dear, I don’t know what happened to you, but my granddaughters don’t need to know. My son and I are in complete agreement. If you stay, they will soon learn the truth. And we want to spare them that.”

  “Mrs. Wolfe, Kelly needs your support and Christian love,” William said heatedly. “Not this abrupt dismissal simply because she had a nightmare.”

  “We decided to do this now, while your brothers are in town, Sheriff Wyllie. We thought she should go back with them,” she said definitively, as though the decision was hers to make.

  Kelly could barely breathe and her heart threatened to jump out of her chest it beat so rapidly. Her fragile world had suddenly shattered like glass.

  She glanced over at William, whose reproach filled eyes glared at Mrs. Wolfe. With one final glower at the woman, he turned to Kelly. “Don’t worry Kelly. Things like this always work out for the better,” William entreated.

  Her mind reeled with confusion. But she would not let this woman humiliate her further.

  “I hope you’ll understand, child,” Mrs. Wolfe said, her voice cool and unnatural.

  “I’ll help your pack your things, dear, and Mister Wyllie can saddle your mount again,” Mrs. Gafford suggested.

  “Thank you for your kind offer, but I can bloody well pack up my own things,” Kelly retorted then looked directly at Mrs. Wolfe. “And I am no child!” She lifted her chin and started for the house.

  “We want you to keep all the clothes we bought you,” Mrs. Wolfe called after Kelly.

  At that, Kelly spun back to face her, fists clenched. “I’ll keep only the gowns and things I brought with me. Nothing more.” Despite her best efforts not to weep, tears burned her eyes for the second time that night. Not wanting Mrs. Wolfe to see her cry, she turned and sprinted to the back door, flew through the house, and took the stairs two at a time.

  After throwing her few things into her bag, she hurried down the stairs. She wanted to say goodbye to the children, but they were nowhere in sight. “Can I at least say goodbye to the children and Mister Wolfe?” she asked when she nearly ran into Mrs. Wolfe in the parlor.

  “No, Dear. It’s best if you just leave. William has your mare ready for you.”

  Kelly turned and hurried through the back door, leaving only a part of her heart behind.

  “She did what?” Captain Sam asked heatedly.

  “The woman’s soul is as cold as a frozen pond,” William spat.

  “Lass, come sit down here with us. Ye look like ye could drop to the ground any second now,” Bear said. He gestured toward a nearby log that served as a bench. “Would ye like a wee cup of coffee to bring yer strength back some?”

  Kelly nodded and sank down on the log, feeling weak and vulnerable, all her anger spent.

  But William’s fury rapidly swelled. His nostrils flared as he whirled to stare at her. “Don’t let them bring you down. You’re too good for them.”

  She did feel humiliated, deflated. She had tried so hard to excel as a tutor and knew that the children responded well to her lessons. If only she could have controlled her emotions—banished her recurring dream—a frightening red dragon—that wanted to devour her. A fearsome blood chilling beast whose scorching breaths burned her face. The dream had become more frequent in recent weeks and the last time she’d had the dream, she swore she could actually feel the dragon’s hot breath on her skin. Then the creature tied her and started to consume her whole. She screamed, but no sound came. She tried again, but her voice remained mute. Then, just as the beast’s jaw, filled with enormous sharp teeth, was about to engulf her, she saw William coming toward her, arms outstretched. She tried to reach out to William but she couldn’t move her tied arms. That’s when her voice finally came and her own screams woke
her up before the dragon could eat her. That was her dream the night her nightmare made the girls cry too.

  “Kelly, William is right. You can’t let them demean you. They don’t understand, that’s all. We do,” Sam said, in a gentle tone.

  “I have no place in the world now. No home. No place where I belong.” She felt so alone.

  “You are more than welcome to return to Cumberland Falls and live with Catherine, Little John, and me. You’re like a sister to all of us now,” Sam said.

  She peered up at William who stood with his hands on his hips staring at Sam. Did William think of her as a sister too?

  “Or Stephen and Jane would welcome ye with open arms,” Bear added. “Ye’re part of the family now. Just like I am. We willna let any harm come to ye.”

  Her uncertain future and trampled pride made the blood pound in her head. She could feel her face growing hot with humiliation, conscious of their scrutiny. She wanted to just escape. But where? Against her will, tears began to roll down her cheeks, and she swatted at them, angry at herself.

  “Kelly, lass, what’s got ye so miserable?” Bear asked. “Are ye worried about leaving Boonesborough?”

  Since her attack, shame was her constant burden, sometimes a light burden and sometimes a heavy one. And now, after an abrupt dismissal from her first job she felt an even deeper sense of disgrace.

  “She doesn’t need to go anywhere,” William nearly swore.

  She looked up, feeling the blood drain from her face at the adamancy of his tone. What did he mean? Her breaths shuddered. Did he want her to stay?

  William eyed first Sam and then Bear. “I think you two should go take a smoke on your pipes down by the riverbank.” It was more than a suggestion.

  Kelly had often seen the Captain and Bear stroll along amiably together, smoking their pipes, often in a heated conversation about politics, hunting, or Indians. They both grabbed their rifles at once and strolled off into the darkness, leaving Kelly and William alone in the light of the campfire.